Journey from a colleague to BFF during lockdown

 

I don’t think the lockdown of 2020, would be something that people will easily forget. It was the first time, when people were forced to stay home and spend more time indoors than outdoors. This gave many people an opportunity to re-connect with their family members and friends. I too connected with couple of my school friends during last year’s lockdown. My takeaway against all the hardships I faced during the lockdown was, I found a BFF.

I had known Ms A (let’s keep it that way), for couple years as we were colleagues at work place. During that time our interaction was limited as, we were in different teams and we had a lot on our table to finish for the day too. I left the organization an year after Ms A joined but we were in touch through messages and WhatsApp occasionally.

But during last year’s lockdown, Ms A, called me one evening. After enquiring about my well-being, she told something to me, which she wanted to tell me for a long time but something, stopped her from conveying it to me. Her revelation shocked me a bit as I was already aware about few things. But what surprised me was that, she really cared for me and I didn’t know about it. We both realized that, we wasted few years in opening up with each other, for the fears best known to each other. My suggestion to all my readers is, please talk openly about things with people who matter to you, otherwise you may also loose time like me and my BFF.

I must say that evening was all about surprises for me, I asked Ms A, what made her call me? She said, “’my husband told me talk to my friends, I will feel better’. The only person whom, she could think about at that moment was me, let me tell you, till the moment she called me, we just colleagues, not friends.

We spoke for close to two hours that evening, as we had a lot to discuss, which we missed during the years. Once we disconnected the call, I was wondering, WHY WE DIDN’T CONNECT BEFORE? But I made a promise to myself that, I will meet Ms A, once the situation normalizes.  When I was glued in those thoughts, I received a WhatsApp notification, it was from Ms A, where she stated, she had great time talking to me and will connect again when time permits. I replied her back with a smiley.

After that day, whenever time permitted, we would talk to each other, at least for an hour. Since Ms A is quite busy in her personal life and rarely find time to talk to me, I too made an exception for her. If I talking to someone and Ms A’s, call is in call waiting mode, I will pick Ms A’s call on priority. I think we can make such changes for people based on their situations at times.  

Last week Ms A called me, but this call jolted me completely as she made some shocking revelations. Though the call started on a jovial mode as usual but ended on a serious note. We all know pandemic has been hard on people especially for nuclear families. Value of family support was one of the best lessons taught through lockdown, when people were cut off the world for days together.

Ms A has decided to shift to her hometown from Bangalore, I remember she once discussed this idea with me but she was not quite sure about it. Before moving out of city, she wanted to meet all her friends in the city. But the stringent lockdown in Bangalore has poured water to all her plans as social get together’s are banned in the city, in wake of acute covid situation.

Even if the relaxations are eased, yet she can’t meet anyone, as she is leaving at city at the earliest. The moment I heard this news, I regretted not being able to meet her when situations were better in the city. Even if the situation improves, we will still not be able to meet each other because currently we are in two different cities. I am in Kerala and she is in Bangalore.

Ms A, told me that she might come back to Bangalore, when situation improves and then she will plan for a get together with all her Bangalore based friends, till then it’s a good bye from her. All this while I was hopeful of catching up with Ms A, sometime as she was in the city but now, I don’t know. That’s the reason, people say we should not take things for granted.

I just hope one day, we will meet in person and talk a lot, as we have many similar interest, one among them is we both are passionate about writing. Till then me and Ms A will be connected through phone calls only.  Even now, I am yet come to terms to the fact that Ms A, is leaving the city, I think that’s the bond between BFFs.  If, I can be grateful for the one thing about lockdown then it has to be, Ms A. But I so wish, I could meet her once before she left the city, an expectation far from reality.

Mental health during Lockdown

 

Talking about mental health has always been taboo topic among masses, as the outlook of society towards it is demeaning. That’s the reason, people seeking counseling from professionals, try to keep it a secret. But the lockdown and the subsequent quarantine has changed, the perception of people towards mental health and topics related to it.

Now the word lockdown itself, gives so much pressure to people to people that, they don’t know, what to do next? Lockdown comes with a silence in our environment, the busy streets suddenly become dull and void, which it give shivers down the spine. I think it’s the silence that is more intimidating than anything else.

During lockdown last year, I was all alone in Bangalore in my flat and was too scared about what will happen next to me. There were times, I thought, I won’t be able to sail through the pandemic and I might die all alone in my flat, away from my parents. That was the time, when I missed my parents the most. My second biggest fear was, if something happens to my parents, who will take care of them? In totality lockdown has forced people to develop lot fear, which they never anticipated coming their way.

The notification issued by government and its implementation on ground leads to numerous confusion, which again adds to another fear amongst law abiding citizens. They are confused about whom to follow, the notifications or the ground reality. These confusion leads to a storm of posts on various social media platforms. This new fears gets added to the already existing list of fears among masses.

Last year I came across many videos of violence and brutality on masses when they ventured out, in some cases to buy essentials. I must say, some clips were so brutal that force us to think ‘Does humanity still exist in this world? Such incidents engulf so much fear in the mind of people that they decide to stay indoors, even in case of emergencies and also contemplated about committing suicide, courtesy there helpless situation. Who should be held responsible for such deaths?

Lockdowns are usually implemented for 2 weeks initially and then extended further, depending on the situation. These unprecedented announcements also take a toll on the mental well-being of individuals because people aren’t usually prepared for an extension. Some people would have planned for some events like wedding, engagement, job relocation etc after the lockdown. An extensive lockdown will play spoil sport to their plans, which could be hamper them financially, personally and also in terms of their career. Such situations, give tremendous psychological pressure to individual, which can lead to major health issues too.

Many people have lost their jobs due to lockdown and the ones who have retained their jobs, have to undergo pay cut and had adapt to work from home culture. Fear of losing job is one of the biggest fear many employees are countering on a daily basis. Because it’s not easy to find a new job in this pandemic, hence people are forced to stick to their job, irrespective of the situation at work.  Families are dependent on the earnings of working people, in the absence of it, life will be miserable for people.  There have been instances where people were left jobless and took their life due to their inability to look after their family.

 Our laptops, tablets and smart phones become dearer to us during lockdown, as these are the only means available to us for communicating to the outside world. God forbid, if any these devices go for a toss, how will people keep themselves engaged during these tiring times? During lockdown most of the laptop and mobile repair shops will be closed, so people will be left with no option but to stay home till lockdown is lifted. In the absence of any source of entertainment, people might slip into depression which is dangerous especially during lockdown.

In totality, it is the masses who suffer the most during lockdowns, which can have an adverse risk in their mental health. Many a times people will not understand that there mental health is being impacted because of lot of other things going in their mind. This carelessness usually cost them dearly later.

I have just pointed out few things, which affects the mental health of people during lockdown, these are based on mine and my friend’s experiences.  And I think every time we under a lockdown irrespective of the location, feeling will remain the same.