Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Why can’t wife’s be with their husband and family?

Marriage is considered the most auspicious event in an individual’s life. It’s the beginning of a new life which is going to be different from the one lived so far. Both parties need to adjust a lot to make things moving in life else can part ways before things turn nasty. Guys don’t have much to sacrifice after marriage. Sacrifices are done mostly done by women not only during marriage but even after.

Girls have to leave their house, parents, relatives and friends and accept her husband with his family. Initially it is difficult for girls to adjust things but later on they get used to it. During wedding girls father hand over his daughter’s hand to the guys hand whereby he gives full responsibility of his daughter to her husband.

Husbands try their level best to make their wife’s comfortable at house and with his relatives because from now on she need to take care of them in the way, her husband has taken care of them. Married girls get respect, love , affection from her husband and his relative because from now she is the one who will be taking care of their son and will be responsible for taking the family tree to next level.

Despite such attempt  by husband’s, when wife’s decide to stay by her family on any occasion, husband’s get annoyed and feel cheated. Reason being husband’s effort to appease his wife by standing for her has failed or she was just using him for one thing or the other. Come what ever wife’s will always stand by her family side and justify their claim. Very rarely they will stand by her husband or his family. 

Wife’s just want her husband along with her family to move ahead. They don’t want her husband’s family in her life and ensure that his family is kept at a distance. Even while doing so why can’t they think for a while that “when she want her family then how can her husband survive without his”?

Married women have 2 family and house one her own other one of her husband. When she sees that situation at her house is not good she switches to her husband’s house and stick their but if her family is in a better position then she will stick to her family ignoring her husband. Its very difficult to say whether your wife is with you or with her family. Only situations can answer it. 

It is always said daughter’s house is the one where they get married off not the house where they were born. Girl’s are aware about but they don’t want to accept it and try to manage things other way round. There are very few girls who stick to her husband and his family all throughout, such guys are really lucky. 

I think its high we guys need to take a stand and ask our wife’s to make her stand clear. We have no problem in you being with your family as we also need our family but given a chance to stand for your husband even if its with against your family, you should stand by him. If wife’s can’t do so its high time she  need to decide which way she want to head. But we guys will never allow our parents love and affection being used by someone just because of being our wife on paper and not in deeds.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Marriage "destiny or sheer co-incidence"


Have heard people saying that “time and tide wait for none”. Its true in some cases especially when it comes to marriage. My family can be taken as perfect example for it. My parents along with my cousin’s parents (2 cousins) were hunting out for our better half’s for more than 2 years now. Each family was looking out for suitable match for 3 prospective candidates for marriage. 

Me along with my cousins were under constant pressure due this, since we were not willing to get married anytime soon. We tried our level by rejecting proposals, giving our own unique excuses to avoid marriage to some extent. Finally we gave up and told our parents that whatever they are going to decide we will abide by it. Our parents were happy but we weren’t, thinking about what will happen next.

This year beginning was no better for all 3 of us. Proposals started pouring in we had to see our prospective brides and groom. My cousins were in better position since they were in kerala but I have to go visit Kerala frequently to see girls. Me and cousins were fed with this parade of seeing brides and groom and wanted to get rid of it as the earliest. 

April I saw a girl (who is now my wife) and left things to destiny and my parents to decide. God knows what happened, within a month’s time my engagement was announced, with marriage in august. My cousins were very happy for me but I was worried for them. Soon after I got engaged, my cousin called to tell her marriage is also been fixed for September.

It was unbelievable, and out weeding days just had a difference of just 10 days. We got married and now we wanted out 3rd cousin to get settled as early as possible. Nothing was working out for him, even we left hope for it, then he called me to tell me that his wedding is scheduled of December. 

Our family members are very happy, they didn’t expect that all 3 of us would be married this year. I do believe in destiny but our marriages are a sheer example of it. All I can want now is that we 3 should lead a prosperous and happy married life with our respective partners.

May god shower his blessings on all 3 of us.

Transition from bachelor to married life


Life changes a lot post marriage and people take time to accept it. Change is inevitable for both guys and girls but they the how it effect individuals vary. We need to accept the fact and move on than staying back and thinking about our past days.

Same happened with me when I attended my first party post marriage, it was the ”first birthday party” of a kid. I went there with my wife and brother in law. All one could see there was, small kids playing around, some sleeping in their parent’s shoulder, while others were crying. Couldn’t believe it was me there. It took some 30mins for me to accept the fact and come to terms with reality.

I hardly knew anyone there, since it was my brother in law’s friend’s party. All grown up guys with their wives, and kids around. I prefer to stand at one corner with my wife and see how things are moving about. Once the cake was cut I started feeling better and then started enjoying with the people around.

We left part by 10pm since it was getting late for everyone, despite it being Saturday. Usually people tend to party late on Saturday’s since Sunday is a holiday for all.

Once back home, was thinking about the change marriage brought to my life. Earlier weekends were meant only to be meant with my gang of friends, going out for long drives at night. Chatting with friends till late at night, watching movies, having dinner at 1 in the morning, fighting for space to sleep.

The type of parties attended during bachelor’s time friends b’days party, night life at pubs. One could enjoy a lot at such places with friends out there, indulge in small mischief’s without harming anyone. We used to leave party when everyone else has left the venue, no matter how much late it is.

Now can’t attend parties without my soul mate and need to leave party before it gets too late. Even while at party need to take care of wife and ensure that she is comfortable being there. "Earlier the life which was meant only for friends and fun has now been replaced by sense of responsibility towards my life partner. Friends will still be their but personal life will come first rest secondary".